i used to fall in love- lo- fedelity allstars

i heard this song over the weekend for the first time. i thought it was one of the best things i had heard in a very long time. the video is not a video per say but the song is great.

burning man- one track mind

I started writing this post sometime in may and never finished it. i don't know why i didn't finish, when burning man is the only thing i can think about. i received a low income ticket which was given to me based on a short answer application i filled out. since then i have been on a mission to create the best possible adventure i can. seeing as i am broker than broke, it's been a fun challenge to see what i can come up with in terms of costumes and supplies with a small budget and what i can find at home. though i have 64 days to finish everything i have managed to find us cheap transportation, designed an octagonal tent structure with parachute covering, fashioned a super hero costume from an old synchronized swimming suit, and started making headway on my gifts of seashell and feather metal jewelry.
i am trying not to get dramatic or loose my mind over the planning of the trip. although i do long for nights where a few of us girls who are going can stay up late drinking cocktails and crafting ridiculous masks.. (which i have started.) and i must remember that this is not a private event. so that means anyone can attend. even if it's someone who you can barely stand to look at, let alone drive 15+hrs and live in the desert with for a week. i can handle it...i think.
before that last week of august i need to still get some things. and i thought that the blog would be a great way to keep track of the things i still need to get. so here goes the list as of july 3 -64 days out:
*goggles- cool ones that look like this

*petticoat (i'm waiting for this one from ebay)

*liquid latex
*fingerless/bum gloves, arm warmers (that all look like something from mad max)
*tall boots with furry accessories or some cool leg warmers or these
*30 Gal water barrels
*already bought one, but i want another mini hat
*bandanas
*boots, cowboy boots
*camelbak bag
*faux fur, sequins
*mini-xmas lights (LED) so i can make these LED cherry blossom trees
*a headlamp
*walkie talkies
*water, water, water
*folding chair
*garter belts
*pasties
and probably everything else on this list or this one or any other list.

if any of you who read this blog, see anything on this list that you have and wouldn't mind lending to me for my trip, it would be very much appreciated.
wooo hooo so excited.

earthquake sunday

my first earthquake i've experienced in downtown freaked me out. i was a bit unsure of how strong it was going to be and if those tall skyscrapers would come crashing down. but alas it was little guy and everyone is alright. it was a nice little substitute for a cup of coffee. and it also shock up all the late comers to the show here at redcat. nice.

changes

i finally got my license back after a few mistakes five years ago. it was really great feeling walking out of the testing center after taking the exam and missing none. even though i don't have a car the fact that i can drive one is amazing. i don't feel like i'm not part of something anymore. even though i know more people who are car free and choosing alternative transportation, it's nice to know that i can also hop in a car and drive away if i had to. it was kind of obvious that i have been away from the car culture and my friends as well, when rhombus and i were talking about going ikea she suggested a daylong trip. when i thought about it i realized that we could go there and back in the car after work and still have time to hang out. we both busted up laughing. we're so used to any distance taking hours by bus. automobile travel is a nice treat and change. but i will be playing car owner for the next two weeks while my parents are in brazil. it's really nice actually because i'll be hitting up phoenix to see my cousin graduate. i get to drive across the desert for the first time in a long long time. i am really looking forward to it.
i had to go through a bunch of shit before i could get my driving privledges back. that shit was not just red tape, paperwork, classes or meeting. it was having to reconcile my choices with my former self and current self. i am really grateful for having had that five year period where i had to learn to live with the consequences of my actions. it took a long while, i think, before i really started to think about what our actions/reactions now will mean or create later on down the road.
march and april of this year were difficult for me because things started to become clear to me. i started stripping off the layers of this person who had limitations. limitations imposed by the state as well as imposed by me. i started to see that i was..no...that i am capable of more things that i thought i was. and that i deserve more than i have allowed myself to achieve. when i started thinking like this all of the things around me felt as if they didn't fit anymore, that i had grown out of them. i started picturing my life after aglago and hoping that it would be sooner rather than later. it also didn't help that i want(ed) to look for a new job amidts record high unemployment. all these things seemed unattainable and out of reach. but i think it's just my lack of experience talking. i think my eyes have opened for the first time as an adult. my thinking is different and my priorities have changed. i think it's great. i want to be more in control of my life and it's outcome and i know i can. it's just such a strange thing to realize.

reflections on a ghost bike and a dui

i was conflicted about attending the ghost bike memorial critical mass ride for jesus castillo last friday because i am the victim of a drunk driver twice. seeing as i was the driver both times, the calls for the head of jesus killer struck me deeply. first off, let me say that i am not asking for sympathy or pity for where my behavior took me, but understanding of what the circumstances are for those who have been convicted drunk drivers.
i got my first dui 5 years ago this past january and my second one in june of the same year. six months apart. according to the instructors at my alcohol education courses as well as insurance people i spoke to most second DUI offenses (approx 80%) are caught within 12 months of the first. the penalties that come with the first DUI are usually an automatic 90 day license suspension along with alcohol education courses, fines, possible jail, and probation. the problem with the license suspension is that most people have no other means of transporting themselves around town. you wear a scarlet letter when you get a DUI and some people are so embarrassed that rather than telling coworkers and asking to carpool, the stay silently ashamed and continue to drive on suspended licenses. or it's an issue of time and distance from work, school and home and there is no other option than driving. that was my case. i lived in north hollywood, worked downtown and went to school at night in santa monica. i tried commuting by bus or having my dad pick me up, it just was not economical or efficient.
what became apparent to me after loosing my right to drive for two years was that they take away something from you and give you nothing to float with. society as a whole would probably discourage the state from issuing bus passes for people with suspended licenses due to DUI. but it would be in an act like that would make drunk drivers have some way to prevent the same thing from happening again. getting behind the wheel is easy, especially when no one is looking. i won't make that mistake again. yeah right! we always will at some point. so why not make sure it doesn't happen. learning to not drink and drive for those of us who have had problems is a long process. it is a literal lifestyle change, and takes some deep personal reflection. i have a friend who also has 2 DUIs. where i have chosen to want to drive and not drink he has chosen to continue to drink and never drive again. this choice affects where and when he works, how he sees friends and family who are not a ride-able distance away. having been without the right to drive for 5 years (5 years without a drives license) has heavily affected my life as well. i have friends i have not seen in nearly that long, i refuse to look for work more than 10 miles from my home, and my days are more structured. the problem to me is that you leave these people stranded and confused about what their next move should be. when you offer no alternative that is functional, people will continue to break the law.
for example, make alternative transportation easier to those who never knew how to take a bus or the correct way to commute on the street by bike. when this first happened to me my father kept telling me to get on a bike. psshhh!!! i'm from la, no one rides a bike unless you're a tweaker or an invisible rider (a term i use now, but did not know at that time). i fought it pretty hard for two years before stumbling upon midnight ridazz when i moved back to echo park in 2006. it is the stigma of biking or riding the bus in los angeles, i think, that keeps people in their cars even when they know better. the jokes about how bad the bus and rail systems are here are sort of true, and as a native i did not really know life without a car. so the resistance is normal for natives. again this is not an excuse but an observation.
i think that bike & ped activists want the same thing that people with DUIs want: a better way to get around without the use of a car. even those us with DUIs are looked down upon, no one really thinks about how (or at least i have not heard anything about it) to make transit a tool used to lower DUI rates. rates that have been consistently on the decline for sometime now. we talk about how transit will make the air quality better, reduce pollution, and generally give us a better quality of life, but think about all the lives we would save. lives like jesus' and lives like the one of the man who took his life. as an invisible rider, jesus had more to risk and died just by trying to get home. and homeboy who took his life, maybe if we had a better system for shuttling people around town at 2 am on a saturday, we could have avoided that collision. now there are two lives that are ruined as a result of this.
drunk drivers made a choice to get behind the wheel after getting shwasted at the bar. i know i did. the key to preventing DUIs is knowledge and awareness of options that help you avoid the 5-O. knowing bus lines and hours of operation help. knowing that riding your bike is easier than taking your car helps (though you can also get a BUI). we need to work to help create a publict transit system in the city that people are not ashamed to be seen riding on. in a city that is so obcessed with status and image waiting for a bus at 2 am is not going to happen over night. as riders, pedestrians, bus riders, and alternative transportation advocates we need to look at all sides of transit issues, especially dangerous and preventative issues like drunk driving.

phil spector is guilty. finally.

i know it's a random topic for me to bring up, but i used to live blocks from phil spector in alhambra while i lived and attended cal state la. in fact, my friends and i used to drive up to the gate of his house, get stoned and wondered who lived there. the morning of the murder i remember waking up to 5 or 6 helicopters hovering above his hilltop castle. all day long the helicopters were there. it was not until the late afternoon did i finally learn of the crime that had taken place. that small connection kept be interested in the trial. i followed dominic dunne's accounts as well as all the local news stories about him and ms. clarkson. like anyone who followed the first trial, i could not believe that it had ended with in a dead-lock decision. this morning (actually this afternoon) when i got up to read the news, i saw the jury from this second trial had reached a decision, and this time they reached a solid conclusion, guilty. he faces 15 years to life, and the loss of everything he ever achieved or desired. the man was nuts. someone who had a history of threatening women with firearms and finally slipped up. it's a shame that someone can fall that far. or even that it was never stopped before something like this happened. i am glad for the family of lana clarkson for closure but still sad that they have lost her to this pointless act. i do feel, though, that this verdict will set a precedent for future cases involving very well connected, well known celebrities.

silver lake neighborhood council discusses the future of my home

this past tuesday evening the silver lake neighborhood council's (slnc) urban design and preservation advisory committee discussed what is to happen to the western corner of sunset junction. the corner where my home, the former home of lovecraft biofuels, and several new/old businesses will be, within the next year or two, torn down to make way for a 94 unit mixed use development. a restaurant, a few shops and new affordable homes will greet you as you drive down sunset. our landlord is not very forthcoming with information, like how long we have to live there or if we get any compensation for having to move. you know normal answers to normal questions you have when you find out what's going to happen to your home when you find out from other blogs. (p.s. thanks sunset junction destruction)
my roommate tim and i made it to the meeting late. the topic was scheduled for 7:50 and by 8:35 they still had not brought it up. with the gods on our side they finally brought up the topic as the committee members began trying to sneak out. they said that the developers were planning a community meeting for saturday april 18 in the parking lot next to the old lovecraft building on santa monica. this would be convenient for us to attend as it's literally in our backyard. the committee hinted at that time that the project seemed to have the green light from them as it would solve the problem of affordable homes in silver lake. when they finished speaking as a committee they turned to tim and i and asked why we were in attendance. we told them that we were there to learn anything we could about the fate our property and by just being flies on the wall, we had already learned a great deal. the meeting ended informally, but we stuck around to talk to the members. they basically told us that the project was not yet in any sort of "beginning" other than showing the architects drawings. no permits or city approval had yet been granted, but that the project was 95% certain to be green lighted by the start of summer. they also told us that we would most likely have no way of fighting something that ultimately has the communities best interest at heart. that said, they did not discourage us from attending meetings, making our case heard to the whole committee (some successfully left before hearing our story), and speaking directly to the developers/landlords, who the chair said was an approachable person.
it seemed in the end that our home will be torn down. the iconic corner i have spent so many years knowing and living on will change. but that does not mean it needs to be done silently or without some form of peaceful protest. i will be there on the 18th from 11am-2pm in the parking lot listening and learning.

rest in peace gary, 2006-2009

getting chased through the garden will not be the same without you nipping at my heels. i hope they have a nice pond for you where you are. and that there no raccoons to haunt you. but tons of chickens to love and protect. thanks for spending you life with us. we will miss you gary.